How To Control Anger
We’ve all been there, in the heat of the moment, when everything falls on you like a bomb, just instead of everything else exploding, it is you who feels that is about to explode to bits. We all have that dark side inside of us, that we find it to be extremely hard to control and get a grasp on. Anger can be one hell of a monster, even bigger and stronger and uglier than Hulk.
In those of moments of heated emotions, logic can be absent, and common sense is nowhere, we can make rash reckless decisions which more often than not and almost 100% certainty we will regret, which only makes things worse, if only there was a button we can push to calm and cool the atmosphere and our mind when all we want is to smash something and scream on the top of our lungs.
Wither be it at a colleague pissing you off, a roommate, or the car who just drove in front of you cutting you off, or perhaps a family problem, sometimes it can an accumulation of all those things, which can one hell of hard pill to swallow, when your blood pressure sky rocketing , veins popping, and you feel almost suffocated , life at the moment cant hard to tolerate, so hard to tolerate that you might end up snapping at the wrong person, or committing an act that you most definitely will regret the following day, month, if not the following year .
Injustice – Depression – Loss Of Control – Power
These are the 4 main reasons that cause all types of anger, once you detect the cause of your anger, you will have a better understanding of that emotion and once you the source of any problem it becomes easier, much easier to deal with it.
What are the best ways and how can one possibly diffuse the bomb within themselves.
- Think.Filter.Speak : how many times have you said or heard the expression, “it was in the heat of the moment”. It is incredibly easy to speak out something we regret in the “heat of the moment” , so try to remind yourself to take a pause , keep quiet and reflect on what you’re going to say before it is too late.
- Word it out : don’t shout it out, when in anger , the point and problem are often cast aside, so instead of expressing the root of the problem, it is common to start shouting out insults and offenses, so after you took the pause, make sure you communicate your anger in a healthy way, explain to the other party the cause of the issue that’s causing your anger.
Sweat it out : it might sound a silly cliché, but a good workout, be it cardio such as running or boxing or be it weight lifting , clears the mind and leaves room for the right mind set to be present, instead of cluttered mind that is easily irritated
- Pause : a time out is essential in moments of stressful times, it gives the chance for a breather, to take a step back, reflect and recharge for what lies ahead in the day, so be sure to take a pause, and remember a time out isn’t just for a kids, there’s a reason it’s so effective with tantrums …. ti works!
- Logic = Solutions: instead of smashing what’s in front of you, instead of getting into a screaming match, filled with insults and needless hurtful statements, that results with a sore throat and a butt-hurt ego, think of solutions, what can be done to better the situation, train yourself to reach for the logical instead of the primal in heated moments
- Find your diffusing button : it can sound and give the complete wrong idea, but finding the right diffusing button is crucial to your self-development and especially in the anger department, by knowing and being aware of what makes you calmer and takes your mind off of killing “metaphorically” someone, by finding what brings your blood pressure down in a healthy way, you learn the power of self control.
Now that you know how to control anger from your side, it can be beneficial to know how to control anger in others, which can be just as catastrophic, to do so, be sure you are armed with two calming peaceful weapons :
– The first is to remain in control of yourself as much as possible, when you find someone who is so flared up , don’t let your instinct to immediately defend yourself by also shouting and fighting and getting angry, instead remain calm and in control, this way, you are more mature and more likely to reach a better ending , instead of ending it in a fight
– Diffuse them by letting them discharge their anger, by helping them word out their anger instead of shouting, by showcasing you are calm and prepared to listen, it’ll most likely calm them as well
PS: if not, it’s best to let the bomb diffuse itself ,and explodes on itself, this way you remain the sane one, while they risk looking like a child throwing a tantrum.
It is painfully easily to get lost and buried in the ruins of anger, so much so that it can cause life altering damages and changes, it is true that anger is one of the most dangerously negative emotions out there, but that doesn’t mean we get to throw in the towel and let it control our lives and relationships and deprave ourselves from a life of peace and calm, with time , practice and a good self-control tactics, danger can be a minimal to our lives instead of a captain guiding the ride that is life
Dr. Lickerman’s book said in his Undefeated Mind n the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self,said that : “the validity of eanger- has always seemed to depend on why the anger arises in the first place and what’s done with it.”