It can be agonizingly painful to face the mirror, more often than not we fall short in acknowledging our wrong doings, and we rarely take a second look ourselves to examine our actions and doings, instead we usually think that the other side of the relationship is the one in the wrong, and we rarely admit – not even to ourselves -that it is us that may be at fault.
Letting people have their own proper space can be crucial to a relationship, any good functioning healthy relationship needs to have that balance, a balance which hits the two main points, one person isn’t too attached more than the other person, and the importance of letting them have their own space, when that balance breaks, it creates a huge gap between the two making one of the two parts the “leach” -sort of speak. The over obsessive need to have the contact with the other person 24/7 is unhealthy for those parties, draining for the person needing the constant care and attention and draining for the other person to never measuring up to that level of emotional support, if the person is late in texting back , in not answering ,if they have plans with other friends , it should be OKAY and not so tiring and draining to have the same repeated discussion and reassuring and comforting the needy person, so remember everybody is entitled to their own personal space.
Playing the good old fashioned “ blame game “
always blaming others or the past or yourself to make yourself out to be the victim, you may not be doing it on purpose but it still doesn’t change the fact it’s hurting your relationship, what I mean by that is always having that mentality and attitude of they did to me or you did to me or well I’m always the one who is bad …and never taking responsibility for your actions or simply having a logical objective perspective on things, in a manner in which it doesn’t have to be so dramatic, remember NO ONE LIKES DRAMA, so when you play the blame game wither it’s toward yourself or others it creates a needless drama and it’s often done to gain people’s affection or even maybe guilt, instead when a situation occurs take things AS THEY ARE and discuss rationally find the issue solve it and move forward instead of dwelling in needless drama, as much of a hard pill it may be to swallow.
Lying/ Hiding the truth
an absolute critical crucial element of any relationship is failing to speak the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, now that doesn’t necessary being painfully truthful to the point where you start becoming rude and hurtful, but to not lie by omission, if a situation occurs or someone texts or calls or you’re going through something related to the other person in the relationship, if you deliberately hide a truth you are fully aware it will change things if the person finds out then you are deliberately hurting your relationship, being forward and honest always has been and always will be the best policy.
The Silent Treatment/ communication
unfortunately it has become extremely to find a relationship any kind of relationship for that matter which the two parties are properly communicating, the phrase : “ communication is key “ become a cliché for a reason , because it without a doubt so true, take a second and think about it , It is wise ironic that now with the more ways of communicating and all the languages we have the less and worst we communicate , we rarely word our thoughts and emotions to our loved ones, which only builds up creating more problems instead of getting us closer, instead we choose silence, or we lash out or react the wrong way instead of addressing the issue we only bury it deeper making it worse, so next time you have an issue or something occurs instead of going to the same old ways that may be causing harm to your relationships be able to talk, discuss, inform and communicate, make sure you talk and explain , word it out instead of lashing it out.
though this one may be hard for some, it it necessary and even more so , when people get into a relationship especially long term, they stop trying, they let go of themselves, now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying be a Victoria secret model or a Hollywood superstar, but make sure you take good care of yourself regardless of the presence of the person, LOVE is strong but sometimes , things are simply logical, no one can feel comfortable around someone who doesn’t take care of themselves.
something that has gotten even worse with the growing evolution of social media, destroying all kinds of relationships, when a person is constantly being attacked of betrayal doing things they haven’t done , be sure that will eventually quit that relationship, so make sure not to go overboard and be rational in your judgments.
make sure you make the time for the ones you love, doing activities together , make the time for them so they know they matter as well, don’t cut them off completely or use the busy excuse, distance makes the heart go fonder, but it can also break it, so find that balance and don’t underestimate the importance of bonding .
Two essential elements you should go by in your relationship:
There isn’t anything a good conversation won’t solve, identify the problem, discuss it , find a solution move forward, tantrums , lashing out, screaming or simply be quiet and deceiving won’t solve anything
balancing your time, balancing your emotions, not going overboard on any aspect of your relationship will go a long way if you stick to it, wither it’s the personal space , or the drama , or the negative atmosphere or the need for affection and validation or taking good care of yourself, or even the spending time together, all of it, just find and hit that balance.