Manipulators: How To Detect And Deal With Them

Whether it’s at buying a certain car or piece of clothing, or whether it’s a discussion with a loved one, or might even be at a meeting negotiation, we’ve all came face to face with some form of manipulation one way or another. however sometimes it goes unnoticed, delivered in such a subtle way that it isn’t until it is way too late that we pick up the flaring red flags .

It is crucial to pin point the manipulative tactics people can use on us, or we might be using subconsciously on others to reach a goal or a purpose.

manipilators choose or avoid

There are countless manipulation methods that can be utilized to put a hook on someone and manipulate them to doing whatever the other party wants, here are the top 6 methods someone can use to get you under their spell:

  • Love Flooding/withdrawal :

As innocent as it can seem, it can be an extremely dangerous one especially in abusive relationships at it is one of the most common methods abusers use to get a grip on their victims, showering you with a great deal of love and affection and compliments, making you feel as if you are the most special thing they have ever had , until you become completely dependent on their love and affection for you, as if it is a necessity, to a point where their love is all that counts and the ONLY thing that counts, once you are one hundred percent dependent on their love and affection and approval of you, they start to take it away, breaking a bond that was so scared for you, they start to threaten to take away all that love and affection as a way and tactic to manipulate you.

  • Limiting options :

Limiting options or restricting options is a form of manipulation where they create the allusion of choices, often times it is most commonly seen and used by sales agents, limiting the choices available ,tricking you into thinking there are only those options available, as to say for instance, have a whole other different option formed for yourself by yourself, answering the question: “ do you want it in black or white ?” with a specific answer instead of having your answer and own choice : Brown , yellow or simply declined, by taking away the possibility of other options they force you indirectly to take a decision that complies according to their desire. A simple yet efficient distraction tactic:

  • Semantic Play Game :

A method which almost everybody has used at one point in their or another to get something they wanted to reach an intended purpose. Words can ne be extremely powerful and their interpretation can be as such also, often times used between couples and business negotiations, a party is uses words that can have a similar definition, but a different one if understood differently at the same time, so that when the right time comes, the person can simply point out that the other person misunderstood the assumed general idea.

guilt manipilator

  • Guilt :

Making someone do something out of guilt is more common that one might think, one of the many passive-aggressive behaviors used to trick people, the person plays the other party and guilt them into doing something even if such party doesn’t want to, often times it goes hand in hand with playing the victim card : “ it’s okay, I always knew you never loved me “ , “ it’s clear I never mattered to you “, that way once a person feels bad and guilty , they feel obliged to do whatever is necessary that will validate to the person that they matter .

  • Effecting questions :

No one wants to look as a mean person, like a person who simply does not care or is cold-hearted, it is simply logic. That is why a lot of people can trick a person into agreeing to something indirectly and directly both at the same time, by leading a series of questions that reinforces the point needed, a person is eventually asked the desired request, only to be forced to agree to it after proving through those leading questions he is interested in the matter at hand, for example it can be through a friend asking you if you care, and you have free time , and you have taken out other friends before, and not in a bad time financially , only to later on ask for you to buy something. It is the sort of trapping you in a corner kind of method, and it almost always works.

  • Sarcasm :

Also one of the ways abusers manipulate their victims is by directly insulting or stating hurtful negative comments only to end it with “ I was only joking ! “ , what this does is slowly but surely break a person’s psych and rebuild it into believing whatever the abuser wants. But finishing the sentence with camouflaging it as a joke, you say to yourself they didn’t intend anything hurtful, whilst leaving a damage to your mind and personality, it is also one of the lany passive-aggressive behaviors manipulators use to have their tight grip on their sad victim.


Now that we shed the light on some of the manipulation tactics used, it is now time to shed light, and a much needed one on how to escape and how to avoid any manipulation that may be on your way :

  • Learn to Say no :

We’re often times hesitant to express our opinion for something we don’t want to do, fear out of seeming rude or selfish, but often times forget we have the right to say no, respectfully but firmly.

  • Be Aware :

While keeping your distance, make sure to detect the telling signs of a manipulator, do they have more than one face, do they act differently and beware of the manipulation tactics that can be used

  • Questions, Questions :

Always question, you have the right to know and have a clear idea of what is being asked of you, don’t be afraid to ask questions, is what they are asking of me fair?, do I really want to do this? are you asking me or telling me ?

  • Time is your best friend :

Always be slow in making a decision when something is asked of you, simply answer “I’ll think about it “ , that way you are not forced to answer under pressure

  • Be Strong :

And finally, remember that you are your own person, and no , no one has the right to manipulate you into feeling a certain or doing something you don’t want or taking the responsibility of something that isn’t yours : reflect, think, and answer with your answer.


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